Repost of my non-negotiables

As promised, here is a list of my non-negotiables. These are the things I am completely unwilling to budge on. I re-read this list after writing it a little over a year ago and still stand by them! Good to know I am not changing my mind much. =0)


So all this talk of relationships has beefed me up to throw the last of the reminders away. Have I mentioned lately how much I hate emotions? I hate dating. I hate the games and confusion and distractions. SO...it is finished.

I should probably be wrapping the rest of the presents that have been patiently waiting in the corner of my room for 3 months, but I'm just not in the mood. Maybe when it gets cold this weekend. So instead...I have decided to update my list. Except this isn't a flimsy, wishful list like before, this is what we like to call..the "non-negotiable list." These requirements are mandatory...absolutely no budging. And if I don't ever find anyone that meets this bill, fine by me..I'm okay on my own...but I refuse to compromise. I'm far too stubborn these days for that. I should also clarify that I am not looking. I'm burnt out on life at the moment. But I need to make this list while I'm not blinded by infatuation and especially while I'm not leaning towards a particular person.

Here goes in no particular order...

Must be a God-fearing Catholic man. Yes, that's right. I don't see a point in trying to make it work otherwise. I realize this screws me over as it eliminates 98% of the men I know as of right this minute. But take my word for it, you won't understand how to connect with someone like me fully if you don't even know what the word "liturgy" means. Not to mention, I've more than done my time as the only Catholic in my household! Dag nab it!

Must dedicate himself fully to me and God. I have to be second. God is first. Ministry needs to be in there somewhere too. I don't really care how. But we're called to be servants, not side-liners. Get out in the field men! Dedication includes: taking an interest in the things I like that you hate because I'll do the same for you, being patient with me when I'm in a funk (I have times when I overload myself, I need someone to take it off of me now and then), and rubbing my flipping feet once in a while...and my tummy when it hurts..you know that kind of thing.

Must understand I need things of my own too. I'll dedicate all of me that's available for another person, but I can't have someone up in my hair 24/7. I am a creative person. I need a little creative time here and there. Allow me that. And Mr. Kade can have that too. Guys need it too. Everybody does. Be be your own man within the confines of belonging to me. Impossible sounding? I think it can be done. =0P

Must possess some continuity within personality. No flip-flopping. Bi-polar applicants need not apply.

Must own at the very least, 4 Scott Hahn books. 4 is a good liturgical number.

Must adore every inch of my body and skin. Any negative remarks about my skin especially will get you kicked out. It's my number one insecurity, so leave it alone. Must not only adore all of me in a physical sense, but in a spiritual sense. Our bodies are living temples for our Christ, we should treat them like we treat the Adoration Chapel. Both behold the same thing. Quick excerpt that demonstrates this from Scott Hahn's First Comes Love:

"Nothing my dad had told me about the facts of life, nothing I had learned in high school biology class, could have prepared me for that moment. The doctors allowed me to stay, to watch the operation. As the surgeon made his incisions, I beheld all of Kimberly's major organs (Hahn's wife). "Truly," I thought, "we are fearfully and wonderfully made!" Then came the moment, when from amid those organs, with a few careful movements of the doctor's hands, came the beautiful body of my baby boy, my first-born son, Michael. // But it was Kimberly's body that became something more than beautiful for me. Bloody and scarred and swollen with pain, it became something sacred, a living temple, a holy sanctuary, and an altar of life-giving sacrifice."

I have to have that. ^

Must possess a love for me beyond emotions and feelings, but of dependability. I don't believe that I'll always feel like loving someone else, but out of respect for the union, I will anyway. We're humans, we're all imperfect.

Must be a Republican. Enough said.

Must stand up for the issues (this goes along with the last requirement): abortion, birth control, stem-cell research, death penalty, etc.

Must take care of me. More specifically, I should emphasize that this includes my safety. God gave woman to man, I'm a gift, protect me as such.

Must genuinely want kids. Good kids, might I add! This means involvement. I'll do the grunt work. I'll feed them, clean them, drive them to school and soccer, but they need their superhero. And that should be you! That means serving as a role model in every aspect of life: as a husband, as a spiritual head, as a disciplinarian, as a friend, as a teacher.

And I guess to keep it reasonable and short...last but not least...

Must never abuse in any way, size, shape or form, me or anyone else, under ANY circumstances..or suffer severe consequences.



Hmm, good list I think. I may update it. But it's a good basis for the future. I think I'll go wrap cookies now...