Miss Kade: December 2008

Very few people get a glimpse into the inner sunshine of my spirit. Although, everyone sees it, not everyone knows where it stems from. I attempt to display to the best of my ability (which sometimes isn't very strong I'll admit), the reason behind it. Yet sometimes it seems far too great for words. How do you explain your sole existence, love for life, well of happiness and joy in a short catchy phrase and capture the magnitude of it? You really can't, but this morning I came the closest I've ever been when I thought about something I bought for my Dad for Christmas yesterday.

Daddy loves everything nostalgic and old-timeish. Sometimes we accuse him of acting 90 for the multiple quotes and references to 1930's songs and programs (he was born in 54). At times it can get a bit old, even annoying because we never have any clue of who in the heck or what in the heck he is talking about - still there is an ever present endearingness to him because of it. I can't count the times he came home when I was little with Necco chocolate or fruity wafers or candy necklaces for us. Everytime I see one of those things I fall madly in love with my precious Daddy all over again. So imagine how excited I got when I realized we had an old-fashioned sock monkey for sale at work the other day. Tucked away in a corner, his little red lips peeked out and begged for my attention. My first thought: DADDY! Liz, our owner, was generous enough to allow all employees a Saturday where we could get anything 40% off. So I waited patiently, every day checking persistently to see if my little monkey had not gone home with someone else. Sure enough, the day came around yesterday and little Mr. Monkey was still there. I scooped him up with glee and wrapped him up in a bag. I couldn't wait to get home and wrap it up so Christmas morning I could see that giddy smile on his face when he realized his little daughter bought him something from his childhood.

Over the last few weeks my life has been a hailstorm. Between writing final papers, studying until the wee hours of the morning for finals, programming final projects like a little roadrunner, and working everyday I had lost the excitement and loving feeling that our sweet Abba would soon be born into our world. I felt terrible that I could hardly stay awake through my nightly decade to pray the rest of what I wanted to pray. So I asked simply that God would find some way to grab me and let me have that warmth..if only even for a minute or two. I can't even explain it, but the last week I have had moments in my day where my heart was just absolutely warmed and comforted knowing that He was almost here. The first thing that did it was a box of Christmas cards with a town scene on it, much like the one Mary and Joseph would have seen traveling inn to inn looking for a place to stay that night. I was restocking our boxed cards and had to stop and just stare for a little while. Even though I couldn't be in deep prayer or study with Him while at work, I could smile with Him. What a feeling of perfect love...

Sometimes I find being with Abba annoying (not with HIM Himself, but the time being with Him). I'll admit it, I love Him with all my heart, but sometimes it feels like I can't get through the 'normal' stuff in my day to get to the time with him without being drained or in an unwilling mood (too tired). And these days, it feels like that's the only way it will ever be..that life will never slow down so I can have that. But just like that little sock monkey, Abba always finds a way to break through the stodginess and warm my heart. For months I have been pondering what to paint upon the four large canvases I bought to hang above my bed in the redecorating of my room (I started back last February...maybe by 2020 I'll be done). The second I felt that way when I looked at that box of cards, I knew..THAT is what I want. I want that feeling everytime I walk in my room. And it might be a little strange to some, but it's what makes me beam with joy and happiness. It's something only the children of God will understand...

Favoritest Scripture that sparked all of this, this morning...

Romans 8 NASB

Deliverance from Bondage

1Therefore there is now no (A)condemnation for those who are (B)in (C)Christ Jesus.

2For (D)the law of the Spirit of life in (E)Christ Jesus (F)has set you free from the law of sin and of death.

3For (G)what the Law could not do, (H)weak as it was through the flesh, God did: sending His own Son in (I)the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh,

4so that the (J)requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us, who (K)do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.

5For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on (L)the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, (M)the things of the Spirit.

6(N)For the mind set on the flesh is (O)death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace,

7because the mind set on the flesh is (P)hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so,

8and those who are (Q)in the flesh cannot please God.

9However, you are not (R)in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God (S)dwells in you But (T)if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Him.

10(U)If Christ is in you, though the body is dead because of sin, yet the spirit is alive because of righteousness.

11But if the Spirit of Him who (V)raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, (W)He who raised (X)Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies [a]through His Spirit who dwells in you.

12So then, brethren, we are under obligation, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh--

13for (Y)if you are living according to the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you are (Z)putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live.

14For all who are (AA)being led by the Spirit of God, these are (AB)sons of God.

15For you (AC)have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you (AD)have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, "(AE)Abba! Father!"

16The Spirit Himself (AF)testifies with our spirit that we are (AG)children of God,

17and if children, (AH)heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, (AI)if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him.

18For I consider that the sufferings of this present time (AJ)are not worthy to be compared with the (AK)glory that is to be revealed to us.

19For the (AL)anxious longing of the creation waits eagerly for (AM)the revealing of the (AN)sons of God.

20For the creation (AO)was subjected to (AP)futility, not willingly, but (AQ)because of Him who subjected it, [b]in hope

21that (AR)the creation itself also will be set free from its slavery to corruption into the freedom of the glory of the children of God.

22For we know that the whole creation (AS)groans and suffers the pains of childbirth together until now.

23(AT)And not only this, but also we ourselves, having (AU)the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves (AV)groan within ourselves, (AW)waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, (AX)the redemption of our body.

24For (AY)in hope we have been saved, but (AZ)hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees?

25But (BA)if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.

Our Victory in Christ

26In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for (BB)we do not know how to pray as we should, but (BC)the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words;

27and (BD)He who searches the hearts knows what (BE)the mind of the Spirit is, because He (BF)intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.

28And we know that [c]God causes (BG)all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are (BH)called according to His purpose.

29For those whom He (BI)foreknew, He also (BJ)predestined to become (BK)conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the (BL)firstborn among many brethren;

30and these whom He (BM)predestined, He also (BN)called; and these whom He called, He also (BO)justified; and these whom He justified, He also (BP)glorified.

31(BQ)What then shall we say to these things? (BR)If God is for us, who is against us?

32He who (BS)did not spare His own Son, but (BT)delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?

33Who will bring a charge against (BU)God's elect? (BV)God is the one who justifies;

34who is the one who (BW)condemns? Christ Jesus is He who (BX)died, yes, rather who was [d](BY)raised, who is (BZ)at the right hand of God, who also (CA)intercedes for us.

35Who will separate us from (CB)the love of [e]Christ? Will (CC)tribulation, or distress, or (CD)persecution, or (CE)famine, or (CF)nakedness, or (CG)peril, or sword?

36Just as it is written,
"(CH)FOR YOUR SAKE WE ARE BEING PUT TO DEATH ALL DAY LONG;
WE WERE CONSIDERED AS SHEEP TO BE SLAUGHTERED."

37But in all these things we overwhelmingly (CI)conquer through (CJ)Him who loved us.

38For I am convinced that neither (CK)death, nor life, nor (CL)angels, nor principalities, nor (CM)things present, nor things to come, nor powers,

39nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from (CN)the love of God, which is (CO)in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Footnotes:

1. Romans 8:11 One early ms reads because of
2. Romans 8:20 Or in hope; because the creation
3. Romans 8:28 One early ms reads all things work together for good
4. Romans 8:34 One early ms reads raised from the dead
5. Romans 8:35 Two early mss read God

Things I like better about the me I am now, than the me 5 years ago...

I'm much funnier now.
I'm more outspoken and voice my opinions.
I'm a harder worker.
I can type about 10 wpm faster (doesn't sound like much, but when you type 114 it's significant).
I don't base my weekends around movies.
I can program.
I can paint and draw.
I laugh loudly without feeling embarrassed.
I'm more honest with myself.
I have more Hallmark items than I know what to do with.
I have one entire end of the house to myself.
I enjoy peace and quiet and alone time.
I abhor myspace.
I don't base my existence off whether a boy calls or not.
I let my hair do what it wants to.
I can calm myself down with a few deep breaths when I get stressed.
I can also put things in perspective.
I'm much more patient.
I'm much more practical.
I don't create magical 5 year plans for my life course anymore.
I buy the cheapest gas I can find.
I can break the ice in any social situation.
I sleep in a room with taupe walls (much more soothing than neon blue).
I take insults with a grain of salt.
I understand good things take time. Like wine.
I can drink wine.
I'm very independent.
I'm very dependent on certain things.

Things I do not like so much about the older me that I need to work on...

I do not get 8 hours of sleep every night.
I rely way too much on email and the internet.
I have more Hallmark items than I know what to do with.
I rush when getting out of the house.
I rush driving down the road.
I run red lights and speed like a little hellion. (Disregard this Malachi!)
I spend too much money on gifts.
I do not state my feelings enough, especially for people and that's tragic.
I gossip like there will always be a tomorrow.
I still don't know but 1 Jimmy Buffet song.
I can't bring myself to buy new shoes (when I NEED them).
I don't sing as much.

Tired now...rolling over to sleep...